Tuesday, April 18, 2017

TMI Tuesday: April 18, 2017

TMI



Let’s do this–TMI Tuesday.

Sexual Revelations

1. When did you see your first naked women that was not a family member?
On her eighteenth birthday, because anytime before that she would not have qualified as a woman.
2. When did you see your first naked man that was not a family member?
On my eighteenth birthday, because anytime before that I would not have qualified as a man. ( Do I qualify as a family member? But anything before that would have been Freshman High School swimming class and I don not think I have overcome that jolt yet and there were no men in there. Just us lads, which was traumatic enough. )
3. What were the circumstances of each situation?
Stretched out on my bed and in a mirror in that order.
4. At what age did you first witness sexual nudity? Was it online or in print?
When I was nine years old I found a folded up paper on my Grammar School stairway landing which introduced me to the wonderful world of Playboy's Vargas Girl art. More than mere print, it was a gateway to enough unreasonable expectations to last a lifetime.
5. Sexual revolution–When was yours OR It hasn’t happened yet?
In my late twenties when I found out how horny some women in their thirties can be.
Bonus: What’s the best sex advice or sex education book you’ve ever read? (Yes, it must be a book, could be online but a book)
Kama Sutra. I really just read it for the articles. Honest.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tempest Slacker

Tempest Slacker was sleek. Her genes had clearly spent centuries traversing the four corners of the globe. Never mind the fact that a globe has no corners, her DNA had clearly kept all the best parts of her ancestors global meandering. While the eye of this beholder makes that highly judgmental and subjective observation the laws of symmetry always hold sway to visually processed stimuli. Or so I have heard. Perfection oozed from her pores. Shiny black hair that had never known the cruel blades of a shear made high heels a necessary accessory to keep her perfectly split free silky ends from sweeping the ground when the swishing sashay of her fully follicle obscured behind was in transit.

I alone among men knew the treasure that swayed behind that opaque curtain of hair, and was insanely jealous when ever she tossed her head to tease a peak to strangers left agog in her wake. But I digress. Or at least momentarily regress to my more base instincts until I again transcend myself to maintain my coveted title of human being.

But on this day and in this time it is a trifle trying. Tomorrow will be more so. For tomorrow is the day of days. The day when Tempest and I enter The Teapot Dome and tangle with the Gene Rippers one on one.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

TMI Tuesday blog: February 27, 2017

TMI Tuesday blog: February 27, 2017



Welcome to another edition of TMI TuesdayCome on and play!

keepcalm_tmi
1. Which one of the following do you need increased privacy:
a. Online interaction such as internet search and website interaction
b. Sex
c. Drinking or taking drugs (including marijuana use)

d. Work
Because I have been carrying this same two by four back and forth for the past ten years and if I did not have privacy someone might figure that out.
2. What decade in life were you most happiest with your sex life? Why? For example: teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, etc.

I would have to split that into late twenties and early thirties. I was clicking on all cylinders in ways better than I ever though possible for lil' ol me. Everything was going my way. I would say the decade before that was a build up. The decade after that was a let down. But I have been riding that karma wave ever since.
3. What is the sexiest TV show you have watched in the last year? Why is it sexy to you?

Since memory for me seems to be a thing of the past I will go with what is fresh in my libido and that is the dark retelling of the Wizard of Oz titled "Emerald City". All because of West played by Ana UlaruShe is some kind of wonderful, and all the sexy magic I can handle right now.


4. What sex scene, from a movie, would you like to recreate?

Spending a weekend doing a reenactment of "Last Tango in Paris" et al.  Now go get the butter.
5. Your sex life is to become a reality series. Which of the following titles best fits:
a. “Too Big To Fail”

b. “Years of Solitude”
But when that damn bursts it gets all over everything and everybody. I would prefer the title:  "Boom and Bust - Rinse and Re- Pete A Trilogy "

c. “A Visual Guide for the Perplexed”
d. “Yes please, Any Time and Anywhere”
Bonus: The Late Phoenix would like to know your family’s secret recipes because he is hungry and thirsty all the time. Please share.

The only family recipe I have is for Disaster so I will do you a solid and spare you that step by step descent in to hell. Besides which I think most people have their very own secret family recipe for that morsel.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!


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Purveyor of paralogical compliance to verbally mediated reality, artisanal smut, with a pinch of full time flâneur tossed in to taste.