Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Professional




I always wondered if there was anything I could have done to change that, because I know I didn't do much at the time. Another of my many "what was I thinking moments". Now I was staring down Indiana. Only I still didn't know it


So I gave all to the immutable laws of commerce as creatively as I could. I set to amass money, cash, investments. With a life devoted entirely to work. Well almost. Time was spent at work , resting, or wasting time in the clubs and night time haunts searching for what I am not sure. Peace of mind . Hardly to be found in such places. For the most part I avoided entanglements
 
Sure there was the late night adventure with a fine slender women with her passed out boyfriend in the next room. I could hardly forgive my self as my hands caressed her tiny behind, moving her sweet moist enveloping lips into the optimal position for a proper side to side ride. For now I was in the embrace of women. Not like the sturdy Eastern European stock from the catholic schools. Girls I had madly groped on their parents back stairs in my younger days. Or my Rainbow girl, under my favorite tree in the park, endlessly kissing and fitting our young bodies together to maximize pleasurably frictions. Of course when the weather got cold my Rainbow dumped me for an older boy with a Firebird. I moved on from such things with the eleven years of growing up, growing together, and then apart with Rene. 


Now it was variety I craved, and what a delightful variety there is in this marvelous city. I worshiped at all shapes and sized altars in those years. How I did enjoy servicing those women. Adult encounters invariably led to the complete immersion and entwining of our naked bodies in apartments and homes through out the city. No more back stairs, or trees in the park for me. 


I was a professional.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Rene

Now Rene Abuduh, the planets predecessor. Younger, prettier, smarter than the Planet. In many ways a force to be reckoned with all her own, Youthful, wild as all teenage girls are. Still a child , yet coming to terms with her own womanhood and sexuality. But truly a party animal. Not conflicted with her youthful past as the planet was because we both existed in her youthful past. My youthful past. It should never be mistaken that Rene morphs into the Planet. Two very distinct and separate entities. Never to meet. What would ever happen to the universe if these two bodies would meet. What would be the consequences.

Tall, small breasted, large shapely behind that was underutilized and under appreciated by the younger me. 

My family always liked Rene. For why I can't be sure. When asked what caused our split I would have to attribute numerous factors. One being that we just plain grew apart, coupled with my work schedule which at times only allowed a few hours of sleep a night and her teaching career which allowed much more free time. Also my serious maiming that happened a few years before might not be something an attractive twenty three year old women would want to have to deal with the rest of her life. However she stuck with me through the worst of it and for that I shall always be grateful. Actually Always Grateful is kind of my middle name.

So Rene exited stage left never to be seen again.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Planet

Janet Judith Planet

Now The Planet is so large she has her own gravitational field.

Plowing blindly through space absorbing all resources and recourses that get in her way. Although what she sup supped up does leave their marks on the planet, still she spins tirelessly through space. Constantly absorbing, never giving back much to the universe or the space she fills. Very selfish, looks out for herself, and is reborn. The Planet is the center of this universe. Of course. How could it be otherwise.

Janet's laugh.
Very memorable. Like.......

More on that latter.

Yet the planet started small. Not to small. Like many things with the planet, getting involved with her seemed like a good idea . My career had been prosperous, but my life was lacking. First met the planet shortly after Rene Abuduh was out of my life. I was in no hurry for involvement or orbiting. The planet was young. I was busy. The planet was attached. I was not. The planet was skinny, all breasts and big blue eyes under short cropped hair. I was bloated and beat. But we found each other in that crowded industry party bar. I was ready, on the rebound. She was almost ready. We would meet again after a few more orbits and some life travels. We parted with a final kiss that night.

I would not escape that easily.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Depressed?

There I was watching the news first thing in the morning which is certainly enough to make anyone a little queasy, but hey I have my coffee so everything will be O.K. At least I really don't think I will need the product that was being pitched to me via the airwaves anytime soon. They were doing the classic, you've got a problem, poor thing, but that's alright we can fix it for you with our drug. All well and good, except that the second half of this spot was the shill reading all the possible side effects. Of course I stress that possible is a key word. But back to our commercial. The montage of these happily drugged people continuing merrily on their way despite the voiceover backdrop of the looming implications of their continued drug use. Another telling warning was not to stop taking the drug quickly. Built in dependence and demand. Dare I say the perfect product with serious withdrawal implications.

So after hearing that list of maladies possibly caused by this little beauty I know I was depressed. But I cheered up immediately with the news story of a member of British royalty using the Pink Floyd defense of “I don’t know, I was really drunk at the time.” I felt much better then.

Life is a good and remember, “Without chemicals life itself would be impossible.”

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Prelude


It was  Friday afternoon and I had a great sense of relief. I saw them all walking to the South Shore station and I knew what lay ahead of them. Herds of them filing into the underground . Lines and lines of them, heading out of their weekly veneer of civilization. Running away from the concrete, fine restaurants, theater, opera. All the finer things in life. Weekends they throw off these trappings and strip down to their basic, primordial selves. Oh how I shudder when I think of what goes on out there at any given moment. Why did I take that journey. What primitive and vile urge brought me to the very edge of my humanity. One thing I know. In Indiana...No one can hear you scream


I am a wiser man and have used as well as been used now. It is unfortunate that often it is unrealized at the time by all parties. But upon reflection ,after having pulled myself out of the wilderness, and looking back on the events there is no longer a need for forgiveness. What was done was done . Whether out of necessity of survival, or just basic animal instinct. Perhaps both the same. Is it the actions or the motivations that really matter? Or is it in fact only the results that count. Perhaps that is the true measure of my journey into Indiana.


What was it that brought people down that South Shore line, many on a daily basis. Others beginning on a day to day trek ,only to eventually be swallowed up, churned inside the guts of mills, industry, and eventually corn. None but the brave or foolish returned there to toil. The lure of cheap cigarettes, cheap property, low gas prices would seem to be the immediate and easy answer. There where also whispers of white trash trailer park women who could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, but most thought that was just rumor to draw the young males back to the corn fields. Whatever the draw, the land was ripe to be plundered as a century before the robber barons located their mills. They sang there song of the south drawing hundreds of thousands from Kentucky and Tennessee to labor in the newly industrialized lake front. In many ways the new migration out of the big city was much more insidious. To the point: what was it that drew me. But I have yet to mention


The Planet

Saturday, September 26, 2009

A Sad Story

Well today I heard one of the truly sad stories of all my days. There are no redeeming factors. The first reaction for some might be “what were they thinking,” perhaps “I would never do that,“ or some other summary judgment  that we are all quick to make. I only feel sorrow for all who are involved. It is the kind of thing that only the living can carry. Some may think that better legislation would solve this. Or better education. Decisive retribution should be exacted to make an example and protect the innocent. But by all accounts the proper authorities were involved after the fact and none of the societal bug a boos, such as chemical misjudgments were ruled out. They just fucked up, Or did they? No willful negligence was indicated, I am sure that didn’t relieve the pain. Those of us on the outside find our ways to deal with someone else's misery. All such reactions are only the way we convince ourselves that bad things can never happen to us because we are such clever humans. But Fortuna can turn her frowning countenance on any of us at any time. Yes that means you. I know it means me.

This was a young couple. But everyone seems young to me except for you really cranky and or radiant old farts. You have chosen your countenance and so be it. I did not know this young couple, or neither had or have any desire to introduce myself. Any comfort or whatever I can offer would give little solace. This is a big city and the neighborly bit does not always go over so well. Especially since I don’t know them from squat, or they me. But if I ever do meet them and they feel the need to share their tragedy with me I will offer support and sympathy, and spare them my input by listening. I have nothing to add to ease or ameliorate their despair. Just listen without judgment would be my only contribution.

They were a problematic young couple by all reports from their landlord and neighbors, the usual parlance and trade of youth. They were an immigrant couple from different foreign lands and ended up here together joined in matrimony either before or after their newly formed human child was conceived. Such things matter much less with the advent of the more egalitarian property right laws as opposed to the paternal model of old. I am sure this little one was equipped with what has been identified as a soul, consciousness, energy, instructions from before, plan, or whatever your version of what we don’t know is. But it seems the mission was to visit shortly and change these young peoples life inalterably. We will leave predestination and or divine cosmic plans and the nagging free will impetuous to another day. I am altogether chagrinned and saddened by this tale to waste words arm wrestling over the trivial interpretations.

What I know. The young couple decided to shower together, they brought the one month old baby in to share the familial bathing, and the one month old child was dropped and left this earthly existence.

I can say no more but to grieve. I don’t know how I would deal with such a loss.

Do you?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Way to Work the Fags




It is a beautiful late summer day in Chicago. Cool and sunny after a summer that has had almost nonexistent heat and humidity. Compared to previous summers where the dead have piled up in refrigerator trucks, this has hardly been a summer at all. I am sitting waiting for a bus right across the street from the police station when this lanky, crew cut, and aviator shades sporting twenty or thirty something comes bounding across the street walks past and says “great way to work the fags”. Well I had no snappy comeback for that but I figured after he passed I would not have to give it a second thought. But then this numb skull back pedals and asks if I want something to drink. Now I know I look a little shabby these days, actually it has been a look I've spent a life time cultivating, income and prospects have had little effect on my exterior manifestations of cloth. But I said “no” abruptly since I was still trying to figure out the meaning and intention of the rather unorthodox ice breaker . Then, this meat popsicle says , “Are you sure” and I said “Positive” and I was left in peace to wait for my bus. Oh happy day.

This left me with a few moments to wonder just what would possess someone to say such a thing to a complete stranger sitting by a bus stop.

I mean, if you are looking for a way to be friendly a simple “hello” should suffice.
Perhaps a pick up line, and I am sure women have heard even more inane attempts spew forth from the mouths of my fellow men in our endless quest to get laid.
It has been my good fortune to have been acquainted with a few gay men and I could never see them using such a greeting even at their randiest. Maybe I have associated with your better class of homosexual.

If you are a street hustler, I don’t see that as a good way to drum up business.
There is the possibility that this person was an undercover cop trying a new technique, but I don’t see that as an effective way to entrap and entice an offer of illegal behavior.

Best answer I suppose is that this fellows was looking for a way to start up a brawl with somebody he had decided on the spot he didn't like and wanted to “put a whuppin” on. I see nothing to gain for me in this activity and I am glad the thought only entered my mind long after the verbal affront. Evolution is more apparent in some. Or perhaps age.

Truth be told I just don’t know and I just don’t care.

So I continued on to work as the personification of everything that's wrong with our human existence. Ignorance and apathy.

About Me

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Purveyor of paralogical compliance to verbally mediated reality, artisanal smut, with a pinch of full time flâneur tossed in to taste.