Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

TMI Tuesday: September 11, 2018

TMI Tuesday: September 11, 2018



Deja vu TMI Tuesday as these questions were originally posted November 18, 2014.

night time is the right time
Fill in the blank
1. When I can’t sleep I take you in my mind .
2. My dream bedroom would be full of your scent .
3. If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be in your arms .
4. I need to hold you at night.
5. Life of never having you would truly be a nightmare.
6. Night time is the right time to lick you senseless.
Bonus: Briefly tell us about your last dream–erotic or not.

I dreamed I was sitting along side some railroad tracks. There was a bunch of us hobos doing hobo things that hobos do while siting alongside railroad tracks. One of the hobos was there with his pet tiger. A train full of cattle started passing by. These cattle were obviously going to slaughter, stuffed in the railroad cars, yet still in the open air cages. Some of the cars had carcasses already in various stages of being butchered. But the train slowed and then came to a stop right next to the tiger and us. The tiger took notice and started nipping at the cow nearest the cage bars. The cow and tiger began to get agitated. One of the train crew came along carrying what appeared to be ribs from a slaughtered cow and proceeded to open up the train car in spite of us hobos yelling not to do that seeing as how there was a tiger in the neighborhood. Well of course the tiger follows the crew member onto the train car full of cattle. Fortunately the train man got out safely but there was no stopping the tiger which began to eviscerate in very graphic detail every single cow in the car. The tiger was gleefully disemboweling a calf when I mercifully woke up.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

TMI Tuesday: July 31, 2018

It’s the end of the month, don’t let it get away without playing TMI Tuesday!


Tell it to us straight or sexy

1. One thing that you will never do again?

That would be a very long list because it is never that one thing, but always the one thing leads to another kind of thingamajiggy sequencing I regret.
2. Who knows you the best?

The Bunny Knows
3. Do you think a relationship should be 50/50 all the time?

Nope. 50/50 sounds like terminally half in and half out. I think you need to plunge right in and then pull out to dance around the edges for a bit before taking that sweet deep plunge again.
4. When was your most recent act of kindness? Was it appreciated?

Just one hour ago when I listened attentively to the same story for at least the tenth time while sincerely empathizing. As for appreciation I have found that the giver rarely feels the givee appreciates the gift enough.
5. Are you a good friend? Why or why not?

I am a terrible friend. Out of sight out of mind kind of feller. The only reason I have any friends at all is because when I am there I am there and come running when needed.
6. What is something that you tried really hard to like but just couldn’t?

Cigars.
Bonus: How was your month of July? Did you do anything fun, interesting, new?

I had me a real good time and would certainly enjoy another one if all goes well.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

TMI Tuesday: July 17, 2018


Fun and a bit crazy, that is this week’s TMI Tuesday.

It could happen…

1. If each of your index fingers could spew a liquid for the rest of your life, what liquid(s) would it be.
Rainwater and grain alcohol. My cocktail of choice BTW.
2. If you could talk to everyone in the world for 5 minutes, all at once, what would you say?
I would say, "Why don't ya'll dummy up for five minutes and think before you say something from now on." Then I would enjoy the next four minutes and fifty seven seconds of peace before the endless gibberish resumes.
3. Would you rather not be able to eat for a week OR not be able to _____ for a month?
Easy peasy. I would rather not be able to converse with anyone for a month. See answer to number 2. Now let's eat!
4. What exhilarates you?
Eating.
5. What is the best perk of your job? What is the best perk you have ever had at any job?
Having my own office with a big comfy couch and a door that locked.
Bonus:  Just how naughty are you?
Very naughty. Especially when I had my own office with a big comfy couch and a door that locked.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Friday, July 13, 2018

Tender Tabernacle

When I am inside you I adore running my fingers through the satiny pages of your flowing folds. Running my fingers along the event horizon where my shaft sleekly splits you wide and melds into making us as one. How your body pulses and vibrates when my finger tip presses my moment where your taint starts and my full immersion leads. As my finger trace back around gathering a glistening sheen unable stop until I have encircled my girth. Perfect placement for my thumb to find the very pinnacle of your tender tabernacle. There to give service and pay homage to that nubbin with an ever gentle rubbing. Your blue eyes become bluer. Your blond hair becomes blonder. Golden strands fall before your face and you sigh, then gasp the sweet sigh of release.

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

TMI Tuesday: July 3, 2018

Thought-provoking TMI Tuesday blog post here for your enjoyment.

Hellowe’re listening.

1. Picture the child you once were, what did that child do very well?
As a child I was always able to crawl under the radar. Even if it was a newfangled invention back then.
2. What are you really good at now?
I am presently really good at sneaking under the radar. Purely out of necessity since all radar has death rays attached to it these days despite government denials. 
3. Did you ever expect love in return and not get it?
I always try to have no expectations. I made the mistake of having expectations for returned love once. What a chump I am.
4. Who do you need to get in touch with because it has been so long?
Everyone I have not been in touch with has counted off the perfect amount of time. Still counting in all cases until the counting stops. 
5. What are your thoughts on this: “Every woman deserves her special day. I get that. But does it really have to cost so much fucking money? I mean, c’mon. If you’re serious about building a future with a guy, why bankrupt him?”
Every person deserves a special day. If it needs to cost lots of money you may have the wrong person.
Bonus: What is your number one priority?
Being part of the solution, no matter how small that contribution may be.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Unreasonable Expectations




I rolled into Slammies one weekday afternoon for a large draught of unreasonable expectations. There she was on the other side of the bar staring me right in the kisser. The only thing to do was to stick to the irrational exuberance script that has served me so well and soldier on.




A decade of Slammies separation meant the woman behind the bar did not recognize me as the regular I once was. Now was not the time to dissuade her. I ordered a pint. There was a CUBS hat on the bartenders head and Chicago CUBS Baseball was on the shiny new multitude of flat screen TV's that now littered the saloon. A far cry from the ancient flickering cathode ray tube corner mounted box that once served as the sports center of this one time corridor of a bar.




On the plus side I could not drink enough pints of unreasonable expectations to have them overtake me as I watched the energetic bartender reach for libations on the top shelve. Each reach exposing more of her well toned reasonably bared daytime mid-drift. Framed in what to me appeared goth inspired basic black attire. Modest but well fitting and well suited for the bars expanded and updated facade.




Her exposed belly bling sparkled and rewarded my irrationally exuberant countenance with a glint of rational promise. Then she rolled up with two shot glasses and a bottle of Jack and said, " I drank too much yesterday and if you don't do a shot with me now I might die."




Her sincerity and my gentlemanly tendencies coaxed an extra exuberant, "Bottoms up!" from me. That was our cue for the ritual downing of the booze. Even fueled by Jack Daniels the unreasonable expectations jet stream would not drag me along today.




He who drinks, then runs away will live to drink another day. Ball game was over and the end of the work day crowd was shuffling in so I bid the bartender ado, tipped her and my hat and out the door I went.




That was the first, but lucky for me, not the last time I would have a JoJo sighting,






Saturday, June 9, 2018

Highly Unlikely




JoJo was the unlikely, as well as the very likely tail end of Tails from Slammies. First impressions are quite often highly skewed and incorrect except for when they are not. For the type of woman you would never peg for a geezer groupie, baby girl resplendent in daddy issues, or grandmother; this tight bodied, tatted up, ageless energetic goofball beauty was a force of nature.


Through the long unfolding of Tails of Slammies, spanning the three sisters of legend: Cathy, Janine, and Peggy, through the incidental drive-by Sindy, JoJo was apropos punctuation.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

TMI Tuesday: Oct 25, 2016


Get real. Spill. It’s TMI Tuesday!

How’s it going–you know,
your relationship?

couple_tmi
1. How did you realize an important relationship (romantic, friendship, business) was over?
When I came home and found all her stuff was gone.
 What was the pivotal moment or statement?
Since I am generally clueless and live in the credo of, everything is okay until it isn't, I can state with the utmost certainty that I do not recall any one statement or any one moment. Just the long painful misdirection of intentions and attentions.
2. Relationship strategy–do you have one? Share.
It ranges from constant worry, adoration, and sorrow; to out of sight, out of mind. Circumstances and characters vary. 
Disclaimer ... Past performance may not be indicative of future results
3. Name two things you appreciate about your current relationship. Why are these things significant? (If not currently in a relationship, feel free to refer to your best relationship)
Her openness and willingness to talk about sex and desires and the resultant richer and more satisfying sex life we enjoy together.
4. In your relationship, do you compromise:

a. a little
I always remember that no good deed goes unpunished and the giver rarely feels the good deed is appreciated to it's fullest value by the recipient.

b. never – I usually get my way
c. too much, it helps keep the peace
5. If you went to couple’s therapy, which of these are you most likely to have a need to discuss:
a. My significant other feels more like a roommate.
b. Sex is uncomfortable.
c. My partner doesn’t know what I like in bed.
d. “Forget sex! We barely touch.”
e. We both have so much baggage that we need help unpacking it.  I'll start at the beginning Doc. I was born of a cold wind blown winters eve and she was born on a sweltering August night in blood and fury......
Bonus: Below is a list of extreme sports. You must pick one sport to try. Why would you do that sport?

1. skydiving
I would enjoy the feeling of free falling to the earth in search of my Aristotelian proper place and feel the exhilaration of redemption when my chute opens.

2. volcano diving
3. zip-lining through a jungle
4. bungee jumping
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Burping the Antichrist - 4. Resident Redheads

Snarfy Barfins and Wheezie Sleezie were Slammies resident red heads. Snarfy was short, luscious and lascivious. Wheezie was tall, lanky and easy. #nsfw #SmutWithaSmirk #artisanalsmut #redheads

Monday, June 6, 2016

Burping the Antichrist - 3. Should You Care

Is today the day Wheezie Sleezie comes to town? Always #nsfw #SmutWithaSmirk #artisanalsmut

Sure that was probable not the question you first asked yourself when you awoke. So I did it for you.

Should you care?

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Notes - The Mill

That's when he notices me. He rests his hand on mine but I know it is so my cleavage stays tucked around his arm. His blue eyes swallow me and his attention engulfs me. Suddenly it is just us two in the late night jazz club.

I would not have even noticed Jim staggering out if Lynne had not lingered a bit too long and a bit too close as she left. It almost felt like she had expected Sam to leave with them. Not necessarily with me along was my impression.

Friday, September 11, 2015

Notes - Pass Around Joy

The ride home with the Nanny was indeed frosty. Not only since I had driven there with the windows rolled down to air out the spacious double couch design of the Bonneville hoping that the scent of other women and male splooge would be whisked away on the wind. Now with the heater on the atmosphere within was still frosty.

“So that guy must be used to giving their Nannie’s a ride home.” I said sheepishly.

“No. I am their first nanny.” she said coldly, adding “They had an Au Pair before me.”

“An oh pair of what?” I asked trying to weasel my way through with humor.

Au Pair. A. U.  P. A. I. R. silly.” The Nanny giggled after a brief attempt not to be thawed. “Some foreign chick that lived in and cared for the kids.” she concluded.

“Cozy.” Was all that I could say as I imagined a foreign floozy in the family home.

“Maybe too cozy.” The Nanny added cryptically.

Not cryptically enough as the tableau of the wife looking anxiously after the hubby and the Nanny out the window as they headed for his car when I arrived. The plot was thickening.

I glanced over and noticed just how hot she looked in her Nanny uniform. Especially since I knew what this rather prim and proper garb obscured. I am sure her middle aged male client had noticed the same. I knew her female client knew.

No generation gap there.

As the Bonneville cut through the frosty night the Nanny curled up next to me in he front seat and place her head on my shoulder just where Beverly had cuddled an hour earlier. Only the Nanny had shorter, lighter, and certainly better maintained coiffer than the Bev.

“I know it’s late, but can we go to your place for a bit.” She cooed” Maybe moke -a joint.” she said in mock baby talk stoner jargon we had adopted.

“I can do better than that.,” as I pulled one out of my pocket and pushed the car cigarette lighter in. As the smoke wafted through the cabin I knew my scent and betrayal trail had been covered.

About Me

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Purveyor of paralogical compliance to verbally mediated reality, artisanal smut, with a pinch of full time flâneur tossed in to taste.