Showing posts with label flings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label flings. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

TMI Tuesday: July 17, 2018


Fun and a bit crazy, that is this week’s TMI Tuesday.

It could happen…

1. If each of your index fingers could spew a liquid for the rest of your life, what liquid(s) would it be.
Rainwater and grain alcohol. My cocktail of choice BTW.
2. If you could talk to everyone in the world for 5 minutes, all at once, what would you say?
I would say, "Why don't ya'll dummy up for five minutes and think before you say something from now on." Then I would enjoy the next four minutes and fifty seven seconds of peace before the endless gibberish resumes.
3. Would you rather not be able to eat for a week OR not be able to _____ for a month?
Easy peasy. I would rather not be able to converse with anyone for a month. See answer to number 2. Now let's eat!
4. What exhilarates you?
Eating.
5. What is the best perk of your job? What is the best perk you have ever had at any job?
Having my own office with a big comfy couch and a door that locked.
Bonus:  Just how naughty are you?
Very naughty. Especially when I had my own office with a big comfy couch and a door that locked.
————-
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

TMI Tuesday: October 4, 2016

Tmi Tuesday: October 4, 2016

TMI Tuesday time. Answer these interesting questions adapted from Red Lipstick Project’s Sexual IQ test.

sexiq_tmi
1. You want to make love, but your partner says they’re too tired:
A. You’re annoyed and frustrated.
B. It’s a bummer, but you understand they’ve had a long day.
Not to mention the sexual energy build up in the delayed gratification. Being the horny little bunny that she is; a geezer like me can use a few hours off. I think she demurs on purpose because when I do deliver a load after a respite it is much more voluminous and intense. 

C. You give your partner an awkwardly long hug and say you’re happy to wait. It’s better when you’re both into it.
D. You get nervous and worried. Maybe your partner is cheating or doesn’t think you’re attractive anymore.
2. Who is having better sex? You or your best friends?
A. I am, obviously.
Now! For many years I know that wasn't the case. Making up for lost time I guess.

B. We don’t talk about our sex lives. Ever.
C. We all have our good times and bad times. We don’t usually compare.
D. My friends have all the good sex. I can’t keep up.
3. How do you feel right after sex?
A. Sweaty and ready to shower. A little gross.
B. Satisfied and energized. Ready to take on the world.
C. Calm and happy, falling asleep.
I might also add, spent, twisted, and smoking with extra sweaty and satisfied.

D. A bit let down and tired.
4. Which is better? Being a man or woman?
A. Men have it so much easier
B. Women have it so much easier
C. I’m having too much fun being me to worry about it.
But to each their own cross to bear. So taking turns baring them can be highly therapeutic.

D. Is there really much of a difference?
5. You and your partner had sex that wasn’t that good. You:
A. Don’t say anything. Everyone has an off day.
B. Complain or drop hints that things better improve.
C. Consider whether you should break up. Sex is the glue to a good relationship.
D. Discuss it immediately and see if there is anything you should be doing differently.
E. Not good sex? If the sex was consensual I find the concept "not good" null and void.
5. What advice do you wish you had when you started having sex?
A. Sex is a great thing–healthy and fun.
And the womens like it too.

B. A proper tour of the reproductive parts as errogenous zones and not from a biology point of view. Bodies are really strange and getting to know them can be awkward.
C. Sex is a beautiful thing but be careful to protect your body from STD’s and pregnancy or you won’t have as much fun.
D. Enjoy sex while you can, because it gets worse as you get older.
BonusWhat will your sex life be like when you’re 70 years old?
A. I can’t imagine having sex when I get wrinkly.
B. Probably a little sex here and there.
C. Hopefully my years of knowledge and hard work in the bedroom will pay off when I am having good sex in my 70’s.
D. Since I am having more and better sex than ever before I can only hope that the bell curve is a figment of statisticians imagination. Meanwhile, once more dear friend into the breach!
————
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

TMI Tuesday: August 23, 2016

TMI Tuesday: August 23, 2016

It’s TMI Tuesday. Express yourself.
love quote tmi
1. Do you want a divorce or to leave your present romantic relationship?

No. Like all romantic relationships it is a mix of joy, fear, lust, patience, preparing, consuming, consummating, cleaning, worrying, listening, watching, going, and cumming. A divorce would eliminate both the good and the bad in all those shared pursuits.

2. Do you think your relationship needs couples therapy?

We haven't hit any snags that we could not solve with our fingers lips and pleasant frictions and intimacies. I have found her very therapeutic and we are a couple so we are getting plenty of therapy on a more regular basis than I have had for a while. Therapy Schmerapy. That being said if my dear one suggested it I would go quick like a bunny. 

3. If your relationship needs fine-tuning, what would you do to tweak it?

Timing is everything. So if she could allow her orgasms to build longer and if I could cum sooner we might be more synchronous. She comes so fast and furious and often, most times when I am ready to unpack the goods, that it delays me even longer.  So we fuck on and on much to the neighbor's annoyance. 

Now I forget. Why do I want to tweak this. 

Never mind.

4. Is your relationship over or are you just in a bad phase? How long has the bad phase lasted so far?

It is never a bad phase when I am with her. We have our problems, mostly the kind we create for ourselves and inflict on each other, but the universe is a phase shifter so if we don't like this phase just check back in an hour. 

Something will happen. Something different.

5. What kind of relationship do you envision will make you happy?

Why the perfect one of course. Blow jobs on demand and my house in a constant state of order and cleanliness. Batting 500 is good in Major League Relationships, so I am as happy as a pig in fecal material.

6. Are you seeing someone new?

Yes I am. Even though we have been lovers for two years every time we embrace it is new. I have known this sweet person almost all my life. When I hold her it is like holding the college student, the young woman, the married lady, the determined divorcee, the professional insurance professional, the wild punk rock party girl, the horny vixen, the animal lover, and the most generous woman I know all rolled into my arms as the beautiful blond package I adore. Every now with her is new and every now is special.
Bonus: What major regret do you have so far in your life? Is it too late to change it?

I would have opened my eyes and really noticed what was going on all around me every second sooner.
————
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Burping the Antichrist - 4. Resident Redheads

Snarfy Barfins and Wheezie Sleezie were Slammies resident red heads. Snarfy was short, luscious and lascivious. Wheezie was tall, lanky and easy. #nsfw #SmutWithaSmirk #artisanalsmut #redheads

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Lavergne

"Do what you want with me" she said.

So after pawing at her for hours in the Green Mill we were now we were up in my Studio Apartment downtown. There we stood with the city lights for illumination I finally had her blouse open, bra unhooked
revealing two of the largest breasts I have ever touched.Not freak porno tits, but real, warm large brown nippled and oh so soft. Sure I had admired them at the office, as had many of my co-workers, but
now my hands were on heaven.

 But what about the invitation to do to me what you want.....hmm. That could have been a night to remember.She was shy about the size of her breasts squeezing them between her arms as her hands were on my stomach as she eased  on to my cock. Oh those lovely breasts The sweet tight warmth of her enveloped me I loved when she rode on top. What a view. So I balled  her like a pinball machine. Made em bounce. I loved when I entered her from behind Those full breasts pressed down on the surface of the mattress flowing out from under her olive skinned shoulders.

When Lavergne and I fucked , we worked up a sweat. Sweet, slick sweaty olive skin and huge breasts. Nipples I could never get as erect as Rene's. But I did spend time trying. Now to my regret, not as much as I should have. Should have spent more hours doing anything I wanted to Lavergne, her tits, her ass, and less drinking with my knuckle head co workers and more fucking would make for sweeter memories.

But my last excursion into Lavergne was a prelude to the savage and raw emotions to come in the bush. I have known the company of women, but she was my favorite. Short statured olive skinned lass of amazing breast proportions totally in contrast to her tiny little behind. Showing up on her door at all hours of the evening to partake of her abundant charms. I enjoyed her thoroughly at every visit.

  Yet the last visit was was perhaps a rather revealing send off for me on my journey into the darkness. After having spent a few hours with the fair haired Pammy I lusted for some darker pleasures finally took her up, so to speak, of the open and standing offer to "do what you want to me". While mounted from behind I became perturbed that Lavergne would never remain on all fours denying my hands free reign upon her bosoms, but would always place her massive breasts and delicately cropped  black haired head on the mattress. So  I raised my aim that inch or two higher and plunged into the land forbidden by state law in Indiana. The land of my exile. So with a delightful view of Lavergne's ample breasts spilling out under her body I slowly and ever so gently pushed into her delightfully tiny and tight derrière. Then withdrew. Entered a little more. Then with withdrew again, till soon I was plunging deeply , savagely, to her guttural moaning and wailing like the little Italian/Irish banshee she was. That was the last woman I had before and throughout my marriage to the Planet. For my fidelity I have no regrets.

Fucking the Planet

About Me

My photo
Purveyor of paralogical compliance to verbally mediated reality, artisanal smut, with a pinch of full time flâneur tossed in to taste.