Sentient Beans

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Saturday, September 26, 2009

A Sad Story

Well today I heard one of the truly sad stories of all my days. There are no redeeming factors. The first reaction for some might be “what were they thinking,” perhaps “I would never do that,“ or some other summary judgment  that we are all quick to make. I only feel sorrow for all who are involved. It is the kind of thing that only the living can carry. Some may think that better legislation would solve this. Or better education. Decisive retribution should be exacted to make an example and protect the innocent. But by all accounts the proper authorities were involved after the fact and none of the societal bug a boos, such as chemical misjudgments were ruled out. They just fucked up, Or did they? No willful negligence was indicated, I am sure that didn’t relieve the pain. Those of us on the outside find our ways to deal with someone else's misery. All such reactions are only the way we convince ourselves that bad things can never happen to us because we are such clever humans. But Fortuna can turn her frowning countenance on any of us at any time. Yes that means you. I know it means me.

This was a young couple. But everyone seems young to me except for you really cranky and or radiant old farts. You have chosen your countenance and so be it. I did not know this young couple, or neither had or have any desire to introduce myself. Any comfort or whatever I can offer would give little solace. This is a big city and the neighborly bit does not always go over so well. Especially since I don’t know them from squat, or they me. But if I ever do meet them and they feel the need to share their tragedy with me I will offer support and sympathy, and spare them my input by listening. I have nothing to add to ease or ameliorate their despair. Just listen without judgment would be my only contribution.

They were a problematic young couple by all reports from their landlord and neighbors, the usual parlance and trade of youth. They were an immigrant couple from different foreign lands and ended up here together joined in matrimony either before or after their newly formed human child was conceived. Such things matter much less with the advent of the more egalitarian property right laws as opposed to the paternal model of old. I am sure this little one was equipped with what has been identified as a soul, consciousness, energy, instructions from before, plan, or whatever your version of what we don’t know is. But it seems the mission was to visit shortly and change these young peoples life inalterably. We will leave predestination and or divine cosmic plans and the nagging free will impetuous to another day. I am altogether chagrinned and saddened by this tale to waste words arm wrestling over the trivial interpretations.

What I know. The young couple decided to shower together, they brought the one month old baby in to share the familial bathing, and the one month old child was dropped and left this earthly existence.

I can say no more but to grieve. I don’t know how I would deal with such a loss.

Do you?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Way to Work the Fags




It is a beautiful late summer day in Chicago. Cool and sunny after a summer that has had almost nonexistent heat and humidity. Compared to previous summers where the dead have piled up in refrigerator trucks, this has hardly been a summer at all. I am sitting waiting for a bus right across the street from the police station when this lanky, crew cut, and aviator shades sporting twenty or thirty something comes bounding across the street walks past and says “great way to work the fags”. Well I had no snappy comeback for that but I figured after he passed I would not have to give it a second thought. But then this numb skull back pedals and asks if I want something to drink. Now I know I look a little shabby these days, actually it has been a look I've spent a life time cultivating, income and prospects have had little effect on my exterior manifestations of cloth. But I said “no” abruptly since I was still trying to figure out the meaning and intention of the rather unorthodox ice breaker . Then, this meat popsicle says , “Are you sure” and I said “Positive” and I was left in peace to wait for my bus. Oh happy day.

This left me with a few moments to wonder just what would possess someone to say such a thing to a complete stranger sitting by a bus stop.

I mean, if you are looking for a way to be friendly a simple “hello” should suffice.
Perhaps a pick up line, and I am sure women have heard even more inane attempts spew forth from the mouths of my fellow men in our endless quest to get laid.
It has been my good fortune to have been acquainted with a few gay men and I could never see them using such a greeting even at their randiest. Maybe I have associated with your better class of homosexual.

If you are a street hustler, I don’t see that as a good way to drum up business.
There is the possibility that this person was an undercover cop trying a new technique, but I don’t see that as an effective way to entrap and entice an offer of illegal behavior.

Best answer I suppose is that this fellows was looking for a way to start up a brawl with somebody he had decided on the spot he didn't like and wanted to “put a whuppin” on. I see nothing to gain for me in this activity and I am glad the thought only entered my mind long after the verbal affront. Evolution is more apparent in some. Or perhaps age.

Truth be told I just don’t know and I just don’t care.

So I continued on to work as the personification of everything that's wrong with our human existence. Ignorance and apathy.