Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Slip N' Slide

I adore the mornings when you utilize the underside of my stiffening resolve as your own personal slip and slide. When ready you run yourself up that flag pole and I salute you with caresses until you descend upon my glazed hairy matted cradle.

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

TMI Tuesday: January 1, 2019

Year 2018 has come to an end. How was the year for you? Let’s take a look this TMI Tuesday.

1. Daily rituals. Do you have any that you will abandon in the new year? Will you begin new daily rituals? If yes, what?

I will abandon those activities that inhibit the flow of my ch'i and embrace rituals that promote both the potency and the free flow of said ch'i
2. What significant relationship improved the most?

N.A. It was a year of deteriorating relationships through death, disease, addiction, and despondency. Business as usual with no where to go but up because I am still alive and well, though every now and then it is kind of hard to tell.
3. What relationship in your life deteriorated?

Name one. 
That's the one.
4. What do you wish you had done more of in 2018? How do you plan on doing more of that in 2019?

Create more cash flow.
Spend more time on activities that increase cash flow.
5. What important person in your life needs more of your time? Will you give it?

At this point I have plenty of time to give but no takers. So I will just have to give it to me. myself , and I.
Bonus: How can you redesign your evenings to bring more restful “you” time to the end of your day?

Avoid the chattering nonstop talking heads and embrace my "Lion Mind" not my "Dog Mind".  Luxuriate in my physical vessel and give care and attention to this long neglected garbage scow I currently cruise about in.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

TMI Tuesday: November 20, 2018



Spill! It’s time for another TMI Tuesday.
1. Who in your life do you wish you’d met sooner?

Funny. I always seem to meet people at the right time.

2. Who in your life do you wish you’d never met? Why?

But I had to meet them all. No bout adoubt it. Otherwise there would be even more holes in me and the universe. Good holes. Bad holes. Ugly holes. So I did my duty and met every single good, bad, and ugly hole that I was meant to and did my best to fill them. With good stuff. Bad stuff. Ugly stuff. On a case by case basis as the situation called for and as the law allowed.

3. What personality trait or description that others attribute to you do you hate?

Oppositional defiance and echolalia. 
Oppositional defiance and echolalia. 
Oppositional defiance and echolalia. 
Oppositional defiance and echolalia. 
Oppositional defiance and echolalia. 

4. If you have children, do you want them to be just like you?

Nope. I want them to be just like them.

5. What have you given up but yet used to love?

Playing Guitfiddle. It gave me blisters on my fingers.
Bonus: Why do people say “heads up” when you should duck?

Since it is a well known fact that what you don't see coming is what usually gets you, best to see that truck that is about to hit you. Besides, when I hear duck I think some one is starting my favorite game, duck duck goose. We all know where that can lead to.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesdayquestions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

TMI Tuesday – November 13, 2018

Let’s do this! TMI Tuesday is up.
1. Name 3 things that most excite your imagination when you imagine doing them? (I know TMI Tuesday blog is number one, so name three other things  ðŸ˜€ ).
  1. What you are wearing under your dress.
  2. Do your panties match your brassiere. 
  3. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Whose shoe is it. Laces or loafers. (Velcro constitutes immediate banishment from my imagination.) How far did it fall. Where is it now. Does it match the last shoe that fell. 
2. When sleeping with your significant other (yes, actually sleeping) do you like to cuddle up or do you prefer sleeping away from them nestled in your own blanket cocoon?
Call me Cuddly Dudley.  I would compromise and accommodate a communal cocoon with an air gap if you are a Fidgety Fiona.
3. Would you rather:
a. Drive 200 miles well over the legally drunk limit?
or
b. Drive 200 miles after being awake for 72 hours?
b. Less likely to receive jail time when I hurt or kill someone else due to my negligence and poor planning
4. Would you rather:
a. Be topless all the time
or
b. Pantless all the time.
b. No mystery. No surprises. All two inches of solid blue granite would be on the table for all to see. 
5. What is something you could talk about for hours?
Time.
Bonus: What is something you could talk about for hours and not bore people to death?
Two inches of solid blue granite.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Saturday, November 10, 2018

World Cup




It is never a good idea to go into a pub at 10 am on a Sunday morning. Especially when you are allegedly old enough to know better. But I had watched a few soccer matches leading up to the final and had found a nice Public House that catered to soccer fans that was open that early on a Sunday. In I went to Kill a few Kennys with a couple of friends. There were a few overconfident Eastern European types in the pub as well and after a bit a few friendly wagers were made. The rest of the daytime hours are history. A big lunch after the match and pockets full of gambling largess I was released into the wild to fend for myself.




The night time hours were near, but not near enough. Where should I go?




I made my way cross town to Slammies.




It had been a while since I had been there. A mere matter of months this time rather than years for a change. I confess my slightly liquored and age addled brain almost admitted to itself that there was an irrational exuberance and audacity of hope that JoJo would be the barkeep this evening. Not being enough of a frequent flyer patron to know the schedules it was a crap shoot at best. But hey, this had been my day for being on the right side of the crap and besides it was still early. JoJo always did wonders for both my mood and libido, if for no other reason that she exuded exquisite energy on all spectrums.




Well when I arrived the the place was busy with World Cuppers who also had been sporting since the early morning hours so entertainment was to be had in conversation and camaraderie. Not to mention since when does anybody in the US care about soccer. But Rodney was slinging the drinks and truth be told he was much more 
adept with soccer ruffian speak than JoJo would have been.




But with a day of imbibing and visions of JoJo and other ghosts of Slammies gibbering in my head; plus ill gotten gains in my pocket left only one thing to be done.




I went to long forgotten but dark corner of many a man's past and headed further afield out to the airport strip clubs.




Dark. Expensive. Reeking of unrequited male lust after the unattainable dreams and transactional commerce of the most basic and ancient kind. Knowing that I was stimulating the economy and myself in a manner that will only result in a trip down memory lane of what a naked woman of a totally inappropriate age for me looks like, I was on a splurge. The visual enticement would certainly charge my batteries. Polite, but never wanting to waste a dancers time when she could be transacting commerce, left me with plenty of time to enjoy the dancers lithe bodies from afar. Not dark lurking corner afar. More midway between drooling stage side tipping range and creeper corner where the bouncers watch for the first whiff of trouble.




The dancers are delightful. All ages and body types. Lovely to the last jiggle. I am mesmerized at the bounty displayed. Some eliciting illicit memories. Others merely long held fantasies. Much to the dismay of the women's bottom line I am too frugal to invest too much of my liquid capital on things other than my liquid hobbies.




That is when it happened. The stage went dark. The MC announce the next performers name. I don't even recall what it was. Your stock in trade strippers name. It was clever. It was enticing. It was not to common. Not to abstruse. It was just…...JoJo!




Okay. I admit I thought about skulking out. For her ? For me? Considering the number of faces she has to see across the weathered bar of Slammies was I kidding myself that she would even recognize me? With the stage lights could she even see beyond the leering laddies stage side with their mitts full of lucre?




I stayed. I confess. The thought of seeing JoJo naked, strutting, and shimmering won the fantasy soccer day prize. Yes I’m that guy. My unreasonable expectations were taking a step that my wildest hopes would have dismissed just moments before. Naked strange women was one thing. My favorite bartender whose imagined visage has roiled my monkey brain for months was a horse of a different color.




I was transfixed as her goth girl inspired clothing became a melting pathway to paradise.




Then our eyes met.






Tuesday, September 18, 2018

TMI Tuesday: September 18, 2018

Welcome to sexy fun and playfulness at TMI Tuesday.

sexy fun, playful
1. Which animal listed below represents your true sexual self?
a. Chipmunk – cute and cuddly

b. Monkey – all about being mischievousness. I think we are all monkeys on this bus

c. Tiger – I’ve earned my stripes
2. Your partner is in the mood for sexy fun and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.

b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see… Or just have a 68 session. You do me and I'll owe you one.

c. That would never happen!
3. Which of these sexual descriptive labels closely matches you?
a. Dominant
b. Submissive
c. Top
d. Bottom

e. Switch. Definitely a ripple on the upside down lake of the void sort.

f. Kinkster
4. Would you rather have your enemy eaten by a shark or die in an earthquake getting swallowed up by earth?
Well since sharks need to eat at least some good would come from the demise of my protagonist.
5. For the next year, would you rather be dressed like a mime every day OR look normal but not be allowed to talk?
Normal? I have nothing to say about that concept. I'll get back to you on that this time next year.
Bonus: What’s the most beautiful word in the world?
Antidisestablishmentarianism or Oops. Love em both
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

TMI Tuesday: September 11, 2018

TMI Tuesday: September 11, 2018



Deja vu TMI Tuesday as these questions were originally posted November 18, 2014.

night time is the right time
Fill in the blank
1. When I can’t sleep I take you in my mind .
2. My dream bedroom would be full of your scent .
3. If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be in your arms .
4. I need to hold you at night.
5. Life of never having you would truly be a nightmare.
6. Night time is the right time to lick you senseless.
Bonus: Briefly tell us about your last dream–erotic or not.

I dreamed I was sitting along side some railroad tracks. There was a bunch of us hobos doing hobo things that hobos do while siting alongside railroad tracks. One of the hobos was there with his pet tiger. A train full of cattle started passing by. These cattle were obviously going to slaughter, stuffed in the railroad cars, yet still in the open air cages. Some of the cars had carcasses already in various stages of being butchered. But the train slowed and then came to a stop right next to the tiger and us. The tiger took notice and started nipping at the cow nearest the cage bars. The cow and tiger began to get agitated. One of the train crew came along carrying what appeared to be ribs from a slaughtered cow and proceeded to open up the train car in spite of us hobos yelling not to do that seeing as how there was a tiger in the neighborhood. Well of course the tiger follows the crew member onto the train car full of cattle. Fortunately the train man got out safely but there was no stopping the tiger which began to eviscerate in very graphic detail every single cow in the car. The tiger was gleefully disemboweling a calf when I mercifully woke up.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

TMI Tuesday: August 14, 2018

TMI Tuesday: August 14, 2018

It’s time for another fascinating TMI Tuesday.
1. ​You can only keep 3 things: (pick and explain your choices)
Coffee

Jewelry
Books
These are the only two things you can keep. One useful. One not. The other items on this list are all consumables and will be used up over time.  
Chocolate
Wine or Beer

Netflix

So I can finish watching "The Almighty Johnsons"

Tacos
2. If your job gave you a surprise 3-day paid break, what would you do with those three days?
Fritter them away drinking and whoring 
3. Have you ever had a threesome? What was the configuration?
Treble. Simply treble. Configuration was complicated as any time a crowd is involved.
4. In a threesome, do you like to be the star attraction or a bit player/personal  assistant?
That is the thing about the treble clef. You have to be prepared for the sharps and the flats
5. Would you have another  threesome?
Highly unlikely.
Bonus:  Rate your last  threesome on a scale of 1-5, 5 being fantastic.
Treble. Simply treble. Seemed like a good idea at the time but the ripple cast over the upside down lake of the void always goes to where the mirror meets the sky.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

TMI Tuesday: August 7, 2018

TMI Tuesday: August 7, 2018

Greetings & Salutations. Another TMI Tuesday presented today to jump-start your writing, jog your memory, and spur deep thought. It’s tricky…

1. Is falling in love effortless?
Falling in love is easy. Getting up after the fall is hard

2. Is your significant other most like your mom or your dad?
Just like both of them because all three of them are gone, gone, and gone.

3. Which parent do you identify with most?
I would have to say my father because he didn't talk to me much so I know very little about him other than he was always there.

4. What one thing are you lacking that you believe will make your life run smoother?
Who says things running smooth is good. Things running smooth for you only means someone else is taking your lumps for you.
5. Which is sexier: constantly pushing the boundaries or playing by the rules?
Rule #1. There are no rules. Rule #2. See Rule #1. Rule #3. There is no Rule #3.
Bonus: Do you think confessions make a relationship stronger?
Only if you've been caught. But try like hell not to do anything you feel the need to confess.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

About Me

My photo
Purveyor of paralogical compliance to verbally mediated reality, artisanal smut, with a pinch of full time flâneur tossed in to taste.